This was not the first entry that I planned for this blog, besides
the intro stuff. But then I kept saying, “I’m gonna make this a FB
post,” and not doing it… so here we go… This is good to be blogged
because it will help more than just me and my two friends who were in a
discussion about it.
So, keys and I especially do not get along. Only once in my life did I have a suitable small bag (never a purse) where I developed a system for placing my stuff. Systems of placing things in bags don’t really work for me because generally that feeling of “OMG IT IS LOST!!!” prevades everything that I do when searching for things. Now imagine that I was a very anxious college student. I was a workaholic. I just wanted to know where my keys were, pretty much at all times, so I could go back to being a workaholic academic. So here’s how this would go:
*checks for keys before leaving the dorm* Oh, okay, they’re right THERE. Okay, let’s go. *leaves dorm*
At cafeteria: I have my food but what if I dropped my keys? OMG I have NO MEMORY of where in my bag they are SHIT ARGH now we have to CHECK FOR KEYS. *roots around in bag for 5-10 minutes, questing everywhere and not finding keys, panicking* SHIT. Oh. Okay. There’s the keys.
About half an hour later I would have to repeat this “in case I dropped my keys.” Yeah, are we seeing a wee bit of OCD? Well, my mom is a wee bit OCD so there ya go, but the cool thing is I STOPPED DOING THIS!
Here’s what I did:
First, I stopped using traditional keys, which is only a positive for me. If you like keys, use ‘em. For me, my wrists don’t work properly for turning them fast enough so I did a lot of dying to pee, standing with my key outside of my house, trying for the umpteenth time to turn the damn thing, and trying also not to explode. Yeah, I hate keys. So I moved to this place, and there they offered me a garage door opener style thing that unlocks and opens my damn door. I am NEVER going back to keys. Ever again. Yay suddenly realizing access has been granted when you never knew you needed that access before. Whee! It was pretty sweet.
So anyway, now I have these garage door opener things, and I even have two! (I didn’t always have two. But I have two right now.) If you are in posession of keys, though, just generalize this to use of keys. If it’s cell chargers for you, then that’s your perpetually missing thing. For me it was always keys, shoes, and hairbrushes. OMG with how much of my life I felt was wasted looking for these things!
For keys and hairbrushes, I got more than one. For shoes, I dumbed down my wardrobe to one pair….but then again that works for me because I use a chair and have less use for shoes. I was never a girl who liked to have a lot of pairs of shoes. Shoes are kinda embattled if you have a mobility impairment, or they can be. Do I have shoes that mostly fit? Yes? Okay, we’re done. ;)
So, find the secret formula that works for you of more-of-these, but less-of-these. Then stash the extras in a designated place. I tend to buy cell chargers in batches of 2-3. I have one in my bedroom at all times and one available to be used with my computer USB port. Then when I am lucky I have an extra for when one or the other craps out. As far as my garage door opener, one has a home in my bag at all times and one is by my bed at all times. This means that I can open the door while lying down but I also don’t have to take that one anywhere, it’s always by my bed (or, occasionally on my desk, but basically inside the house.)
With this system, I calmed the hell down. One set of keys is always in my bag, right? Also, my bag has a normal set of keys too, attached to a key chain, for the normies to go, “Oh, look, your keys are in your purse!” ;) (What can I say, they provided both…it’s a good visual reminder: Keys are in the bag. Relax.
As a result, I stopped freaking out and checking every 30 minutes. Keys are in the bag. I double check before I leave, and because the garage door opener is big (a big keychain will also work, or a lanyard or other around the neck kind of thing if fumbling in a bag doesn’t work), it’s easier to find. I still pull it out to make sure that’s what I’ve got my hand on, but this ultimately means I only check 1-2 times a day, not every 20-30 minutes while my agoraphobic ass is outside in the very stressy big blue room.
For objects other than keys, they still go missing on me even right in front of my face. For situations like that, I have a few systems: I let anyone who works with me or deals with me regularly know I have eyes that have trouble focusing and skip over common objects. I let them know NOT to move anything, even if it looks messy. Anyone who cleans at my house is supervised by me and is instructed to clean but put the messy piles back because I know what the hell is in the messy piles, thanks. And if I still can’t find something in my messy pile system (something I know many crips use), then I “borrow the eyes” of a person I trust not to get so super curious about what I am looking for and why. They just know what it means when I say, “I need to borrow your eyes,” by now. It doesn’t mean “And then you get to open my mail,” or “And then we get to have a discussion of why this is going on.” It just means, “I need to borrow your eyes.”
It works for me. Feel free to add in comments what works for you. :)
So, keys and I especially do not get along. Only once in my life did I have a suitable small bag (never a purse) where I developed a system for placing my stuff. Systems of placing things in bags don’t really work for me because generally that feeling of “OMG IT IS LOST!!!” prevades everything that I do when searching for things. Now imagine that I was a very anxious college student. I was a workaholic. I just wanted to know where my keys were, pretty much at all times, so I could go back to being a workaholic academic. So here’s how this would go:
*checks for keys before leaving the dorm* Oh, okay, they’re right THERE. Okay, let’s go. *leaves dorm*
At cafeteria: I have my food but what if I dropped my keys? OMG I have NO MEMORY of where in my bag they are SHIT ARGH now we have to CHECK FOR KEYS. *roots around in bag for 5-10 minutes, questing everywhere and not finding keys, panicking* SHIT. Oh. Okay. There’s the keys.
About half an hour later I would have to repeat this “in case I dropped my keys.” Yeah, are we seeing a wee bit of OCD? Well, my mom is a wee bit OCD so there ya go, but the cool thing is I STOPPED DOING THIS!
Here’s what I did:
First, I stopped using traditional keys, which is only a positive for me. If you like keys, use ‘em. For me, my wrists don’t work properly for turning them fast enough so I did a lot of dying to pee, standing with my key outside of my house, trying for the umpteenth time to turn the damn thing, and trying also not to explode. Yeah, I hate keys. So I moved to this place, and there they offered me a garage door opener style thing that unlocks and opens my damn door. I am NEVER going back to keys. Ever again. Yay suddenly realizing access has been granted when you never knew you needed that access before. Whee! It was pretty sweet.
So anyway, now I have these garage door opener things, and I even have two! (I didn’t always have two. But I have two right now.) If you are in posession of keys, though, just generalize this to use of keys. If it’s cell chargers for you, then that’s your perpetually missing thing. For me it was always keys, shoes, and hairbrushes. OMG with how much of my life I felt was wasted looking for these things!
For keys and hairbrushes, I got more than one. For shoes, I dumbed down my wardrobe to one pair….but then again that works for me because I use a chair and have less use for shoes. I was never a girl who liked to have a lot of pairs of shoes. Shoes are kinda embattled if you have a mobility impairment, or they can be. Do I have shoes that mostly fit? Yes? Okay, we’re done. ;)
So, find the secret formula that works for you of more-of-these, but less-of-these. Then stash the extras in a designated place. I tend to buy cell chargers in batches of 2-3. I have one in my bedroom at all times and one available to be used with my computer USB port. Then when I am lucky I have an extra for when one or the other craps out. As far as my garage door opener, one has a home in my bag at all times and one is by my bed at all times. This means that I can open the door while lying down but I also don’t have to take that one anywhere, it’s always by my bed (or, occasionally on my desk, but basically inside the house.)
With this system, I calmed the hell down. One set of keys is always in my bag, right? Also, my bag has a normal set of keys too, attached to a key chain, for the normies to go, “Oh, look, your keys are in your purse!” ;) (What can I say, they provided both…it’s a good visual reminder: Keys are in the bag. Relax.
As a result, I stopped freaking out and checking every 30 minutes. Keys are in the bag. I double check before I leave, and because the garage door opener is big (a big keychain will also work, or a lanyard or other around the neck kind of thing if fumbling in a bag doesn’t work), it’s easier to find. I still pull it out to make sure that’s what I’ve got my hand on, but this ultimately means I only check 1-2 times a day, not every 20-30 minutes while my agoraphobic ass is outside in the very stressy big blue room.
For objects other than keys, they still go missing on me even right in front of my face. For situations like that, I have a few systems: I let anyone who works with me or deals with me regularly know I have eyes that have trouble focusing and skip over common objects. I let them know NOT to move anything, even if it looks messy. Anyone who cleans at my house is supervised by me and is instructed to clean but put the messy piles back because I know what the hell is in the messy piles, thanks. And if I still can’t find something in my messy pile system (something I know many crips use), then I “borrow the eyes” of a person I trust not to get so super curious about what I am looking for and why. They just know what it means when I say, “I need to borrow your eyes,” by now. It doesn’t mean “And then you get to open my mail,” or “And then we get to have a discussion of why this is going on.” It just means, “I need to borrow your eyes.”
It works for me. Feel free to add in comments what works for you. :)
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